he's a keeper, that one

The nocturnal mating patterns of Dirk and Sheila:

He's sleeping completely flat on his stomach, arms splayed willy-nilly, because his back hurts.

He also twitches in his sleep, like how our dog used to when he'd dream about catching and eating squirrels or some other backyard nemesis.

I, on the other hand, am propped up on four pillows, wheezing and coughing and hacking and sneezing and blowing my nose.

There's actually more phlegm involved than previously thought possible in the medical realm.

Every couple of hours I bolt up, unable to breathe, and when I finally get me some oxygen, I wake up Dirk to apologize for being so noisy.

He just flails his arms about some more and pays me some compliments to get me to be quiet.

It always works, so then I go back to the wheezing and couching and hacking and sneezing and blowing my nose.

All that phlegm.

Rinse. Repeat.

At this rate, it's a crapshoot as to whether I'll get better or be smothered in my sleep by Dirk's lone pillow first.

Either way, he woke up really enthusiastic about getting me to a pharmacy this morning.

betholindo at 10:58 a.m.

previous | next