14 July 2005

fucking fuck

Right, so-

I've been thinking hard lately about trying to describe what I feel because then I can figure out how to tackle it. I do this: I have to figure out exactly to the T what my problem is before I even pretend to go about solving it. Sometimes it's easy: sad, angry, lost, PMS-ing at the clog salesman who disagrees with my, ahem, unique fashion sense.

But usually it's more complicated, like imagine being in a grocery store and the floor is slanted and the walls are slanted and I'm extremely hungry but nothing looks good even though everything's beautiful but it's all out of my price range anyway. That's how I feel. And I realize that this is a state of mind, not an emotion. And I realize that I'm still functioning in that grocery store and everything is as it should be, but off by 45 degrees, and delicious-looking yet not satisfying.

And I just want to want to fucking eat something.

Metaphorically speaking, that is. I eat plenty.

And another thing, I've been saying "fuck" a lot.

betholindo at 10:25

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